Saturday, July 31, 2021
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You, be confident being you

Today there are so many psychology self-help books, TV shows and movies telling you what to do and how to behave, that we forget a wise old saying “just be you”. The challenge is to know just who that is, and, how to be yourself.

Is it ignorance to ‘go with the flow’ with family and friends and ‘don’t rock the boat’.

Not always. While we all have goals and desires, from the CEO of your company – to the guy living it rough on the street – our nature will normally determine how we go about them.

Until we understand our own nature, we turn instead to nurturing by family or trusted friends – that can often be our undoing. We are protectively nurtured by people in our lives in ways that we are often not even aware of, and will often protect the familiarity of this nurturing, whether or not it be to our benefit.

When we become aware of these ‘security blanket’ relationships, we can choose to start the journey of being aware of our nurturing relationships and whether they are good for us.

This is by understanding the behaviours, attitudes, and goals of people we are in a relationship with, and whether this relationship is a healthy one.

If we are taught to be suspicious, we need to replace it with being considered, when taught to look at others with a superior attitude, we instead need to stop, listen and relate. When feeling intimidated and overwhelmed by others, we should show confidence and calmness.

Challenging negative qualities will assist in knowing our own inherent nature, instead of relying on others-borrowed behaviour and assist us in knowing whether this others-borrows behaviour is to our best interests.

We will have moments in our lives when we are invited into a situation that is foreign to our normal mode of behaviour, we need to be secure in expressing our nature and saying “yes” or “no” without being abusive or offensive towards them.

So be you, and be confident with that.

Dave Varley
Hi. As a Kiwi guy, I am passionate about life with my wife and daughter in West Auckland. I am a proud Westie who's learning all things radio and journalism! Lovin' it, too!
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